we're chasing vodka with high fives
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Alive.
So much puke
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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