come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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