one might say we're banned from that church
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
