spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
