dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
