Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
