what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
