My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
