I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
