in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
