I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
