UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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