Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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