Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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