im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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