All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Betty ford says i'm here all night
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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