This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
