4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Can I color on your dick again?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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