Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
