this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
