she was so not down for the gang bang
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
