but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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