Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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