just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
