maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
