Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
