She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
