Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
