Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize