i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
