So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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