I'm going to jail i love you
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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