I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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