y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
