I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
