i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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