i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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