There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
