No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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