Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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