"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Randomize
