ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she told me i tasted like america
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
