loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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