Just fell off a train. Bad.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
