is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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