God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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