What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
