I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
