My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
