Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize