i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
