Your tits are I can't wait for
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
