we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
