I hope my margaritas pass through security.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
