I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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