Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
