I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize