That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
