Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
