this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
