Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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