we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
