Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
