(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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