The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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