well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
