There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I want to be your penis for a week.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
