Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
